My shoes hurt etiquette

Sometimes shoes hurt.  This is part of being a grown women and we all deal with it from time to time.  Even if you are in pain their are certain rules and tips to avoid the fauz pas of removing your shoes in public.

1. Invest in a good comfy heel.  Try on as many shoes as you can, walk around the store in them and see how they feel.  If they rub or pinch in the store try going up a size and if that doesn't work don't buy them.  I don't care if they're the cutest shoes in the whole wide world, people in pain don't look cute.

2. Break in a shoe before you plan on wearing it.  If you have shoes for a special event of simply a new pair wear them while cooking dinner or cleaning to break them in.  This way you can break them in in the comfort of your own home and are able to take them off the second and blisters start to form.  If they hurt a lot you know that wearing them to an event where you'll be standing all day is not a good call.

3. Duct tape is your friend.  If you have sensitive skin on your feet flats will often rub your heel and give you blisters.  Before you go out simply stick a piece of duct tape on your heels and your good to go.  Do this until your flats are broken in and you'll be good to go.

4. Make good shoe choices.  Going to a concert or plan on walking the city?  Don't wear super high heels.   Sometimes you're better off trading in your high heels for lower heels or even flats.  Sure high heels are cuter but if you're doing a lot of walking your companion(s) will be much appreciative when you don't have to call it a night because you can't bear walking another block.

5.  Prevention is key.  For high heels arch support will help with the stress placed on your arch and this nifty deoderant like sunstance will keep away the blisters.

With proper prevention and common sense you should never have to end an evening early or remove your shoes at a wedding again.

Celebrity worshipping is bad for the soul and wardrobe

Sure, everyone likes to take a peak at what their favorite actor or actress, singer or general celebrity is up to and this can be ok.  Now if you come home from work and immediately watch TMZ, the Daily 10, Extra and The Insider while flipping through People Magazine you may have a problem.  

Celebrities love to be trendy.  Most of us normal people should stay far far away from these trends.  Seeing Lindsay in her footless leggings or Britney in her Uggs or every freaking celebrity in maternity wear when they're not pregnant gives us the wrong idea.  

If you see something enough, especially when you see it worn by women with fab bodies you start to think that these things look good and they don't.  You will always be better off sticking with classic pieces that flatter your body (your body right now, not the one from 10 year ago or the one 6 months from now because you swear you're only going to eat salad) are pretty and well made and make you feel good.

Remember, looking like this is their job not yours.  You don't jump behind the counter at the bank or stock shelves at the grocery store because it's not your job.  They get a lot of this stuff for free or custom made for them.  Even if you are making gobs of money buying all of these things will make a dent in your bank account and do you really need a closet full of capes and gladiator sandals?  

A Lady's Favorite Cocktails

Their are a lot of drinks out there, these are some classy cocktails that are a true crowd pleaser.

Mojito's

1 1/2oz light rum Crush mint with a fork inside of the glass. Add sugar and juice of 1 lime 

1 tbsp sugar (about 3 tbsp) and stir.  Fill glass with ice. Add rum and top with club soda.

1 lime 

Club soda

Fresh mint

Martini

2 1/2 oz gin All you have to do is mix in a chilled glass and voila.  Add an olive or 

1/2 oz dry vermouth slice for garnish.

Cosmopolitan Just say thanks to Sex and the City for reviving this cocktail. Mix 

1 oz vodka ingredients in a shaker and there you go.

1/2 oz triple sec

1/2 oz lime juice

1/2 oz cranberry juice

Margarita Warm spring nights and mexican food just screams for this cocktail. 

1 1/2 oz tequila You know what to do.

1/2 oz triple sec

1 oz lime juice

There are a million other drink out there but these are just a few classics.  Remember to enjoy responsibly- there's nothing less classy then being falling down drunk.

Glassware- P2

Now that you have your basic stemware lets add some fun to the mix.

There is nothing quite like a frozen margarita on a hot summer day and you definitely need to glass to add to the atmosphere. A little salt, a lime wedge and you've got an event all on it's own.  Be careful, margarita glasses tend to have designs on them.  Ask yourself if a parrot glass is really something that's going to stand the test of time.

A martini glass is an absolute must have.  Martini's are a timeless drink and these glasses can easily be used for most other mixed drinks.

And finally, have a set of shot glasses.  You never know when guest will want to do a shot and it's always good to measure anyway.

Glassware- Serving Drinks in the Appropriate Glass P1

Most people never think twice about the glass their drink is being served in.  Sure they might laugh if a friend pours them a glass of wine into a coffee mug but otherwise are quite content with most anything.  There are others, we could refer to them as "glass snobs" who expect Riedel stemware in the appropriate shape and size for each beverage.  Now, Riedel makes beautiful stemware but not all of us have the budget that allows for this.  This guide is more realistic budgetwise but helps you avoid the unclassy gesture of serving wine in margarita glasses because you don't have enough wine glasses. 

Everyone needs a basic wine glass.  Stemless glasses are adorable but not appropriate for wine.  Regardless of what you've scene in movies glasses are meant to be held by the stem to avoid warming the wine.  These glasses are a great budget option.

If you're looking to upgrade slightly start with chardonnay glasses.

Then add some red wine glasses.

And finally every lady needs a set of champagne flutes.  When in doubt, serve champagne (sparkling wine works too.)

Now it's time to through a party!

MySpace-For Teenagers Only

Today everyone is on the internet. Ok, maybe not your great grandmother in Tuscan but most everyone. And the it's not just an email and searching tool anymore but more and more people are using it to meet people or connect with preexisting friends. I'm sure you've heard the warnings; things on te internet never go away, future employers look at your accounts (this I find doubtful, I very much doubt most employers are looking you up on facebook) etc, etc. I'm not going to warn you against things you already know but instead lay a ground work for setting up and enjoying these online forums as an adult.

Don't use MySpace if you're over 20. You have your own space remember? Myspace is a combination of teenagers, people who inexplicably want to acquire as many friends as possible and then gain fame for it (yeah, like that's a good way to start a respectable career) and the occasional 40 year old perv who gets off talking to kids. So you're in your 20's, 30's, 40's or older no MySpace for you. If you're over 35 you probably aren't on MySpace because you don't really get it. Don't worry you shouldn't get it. Who wants a list of 200 "friends: aka people you don't know and have never met. It's weird, yeah, you know it is. While it's a great place to read teenage angst poetry, if you're over 20 it's time to move on ladies.

Clinton drops out- woo there get off your feminist high horse

We all know that yesterday Hillary Clinton officially through her support to Barak Obama after dropping out of the race.  Clinton supporters and feminists everywhere are up in arms telling anyone who will listen that now they will vote for John McCain.  This isn't a slam against McCain but that's like choosing between a chocolate cake and a cheesecake when you really don't like cheesecake just because the restaurant ran out of fudge cake.  Ignore the prolonged metaphor but when it comes down to it Clinton and Obama hold very similar positions on most issues.  Sure they disagree in places but we're not electing a dictator.  Just because they want something doesn't mean they're going to get it exactly the way they want it.  They'll be lucky if they get it at all.

So ladies, Clinton not getting the nomination is not an affront to women everywhere.  She was just not the popular candidate and really, what is the presidential election other than a giant popularity contest.  A women will run again and one will eventually win the Whitehouse.  So instead of letting your daughters emulate Paris Hilton how about giving them the education and the drive to get involved in politics and get a woman elected to the presidency.

Really? A wedding at Disney

As we enter the summer wedding season the networks have all seemed to jump on the wedding story bandwagon.  Everyone is doing profiles of various weddings, all of course loosely tied in to their channel of course.  I find these shows to be everything from cute to ridiculous to hysterically funny.  I have noticed  number of networks doing a piece on Disney weddings.  The idea of getting married in disney World completely baffles me.

Now, I love Disney.  It's a fun place to visit, there's plenty to do and there's always poorly dressed midwesterners to make fun of.  But having your wedding there?  Firstly, what sort of expectations do women who want to get married in Disney have?  These are probably the same women who refer to themselves as a princess and in their single days were looking for their "night in shining armor."  I hate to break it to these ladies but Cinderella and Snow White are fictional cartoon characters.  This is not going to be your life and these cartoons are no reflection on relationships.

Secondly I think unless all of your friends are millionaires it's extremely selfish to have a "destination" wedding.  Believe it or not weddings have very little to do with th couple themselves.  Realistically their relationship will be exactly the same as the day before with the addition of a license and a few household items.  Weddings are about families and friends expectations and allowing all of these people to celebrate together.  To make everyone spend money on hotels, and airfare with the possibility of having to take off work is completely ridiculous.

Lastly, it's Disney, it's not like you get the place to yourself.  If you get married at the castle there will be tourists milling around in their shorts and t-shirts being trailed by their noisy kids.  Some atmosphere no?  Plus, have you ever eaten at Disney World.  Outside of the Grand Floridian the food leaves a lot to be desired.  On my last trip their my stomach hurt so bad from a general lack of vegetables and quality ingredients.

instead of Disney get married in a place that has meaning for you.  A family church or the city you met, not the biggest tourist attraction in the country.

Read This- The Master of Disguise

Do you like spy novels? Are you curious about what the CIA is really doing?  Then this is an absolute must read.  This book is a true story of a CIA operative who was actually authorized to do a tell all about his 15 years in the business.  Some details were left out for security reasons but there's plenty of recently unclassified information about the Cold War.  You'll be hooked from page one and be left wondering what the CIA is up to these days.  This is a great beach read for you and would make a fabulous father's day gift.

Title: The Master of Disguise: My Secret Life in the CIA

Author: Antonio Mendez

Page Count: 340 plus a glossary in the back to learn all those CIA terms

The Black Pump

Every girl needs a pair of black pumps.  They're classy and can carry you to work, drinks, dinner and parties.  They are the all time must have, perfect pair of shoes.

Try a rounder toe.  If you're going to be walking, standing or wearing these for awhile (say all day at work) this slightly rounder toe will not squash your feet quite so much.

   Try this adorable Steve Madden pump.  It has the rounded toe and a moderately  high heel.  It's also on sale- it's only $55.97.

Add visual interest.  A basic black heel doesn't have to be super basic.  The soft details on these shoes really make them special.

This shoe can easily be a classic black pump even though it isn't plan. The buckle adds interest but the shoe is still very work appropriate and it can still easily transition into nighttime.

The tie detail in this shoe gives it the extra visual interest without taking away from the classic nature of the pump. This shoe is not for every office, it's not conservative enough for someone in the financial field. If you work in a more creative office this is the perfect shoe for you.

And finally the classic. The pointed toe, black stiletto. This is an absolute necessity for every women's wardrobe. I would not recommend it for long walks though.

This is a classic (and reported comfy) shoe that you will get years of use out of. It's the ultimate of shoe basics.

So get a jump start on your new and fabulous shoe wardrobe with one or all of these pairs.

How to Buy, Wear and Walk in High Heeled Shoes

If I see one more professionally dressed women teetering down the street, or another grown women stumbling over herself coming out of a bar, I'm going to have to stab someone with my own three inch stilettos. Somehow this age of equal rights have lead to a sharp decrease in the ability of women to wear heels. There is absolutely no excuse for this. No, men don't have to wear heels but then again a women doesn't have to tie a noose around her neck to be deemed professional. Every single woman at one point in her life will have to wear heels. About 99.9% of them will have to wear them at least a few dozen times if not thousands. That knowledge alone would make you think women would want to know how to walk in their shoes but this is so not the case. Heels make you taller, more powerful and sexier but tripping over your own two feet makes you look like a 5 year old stomping around the kitchen in your mother's heels. This look totally negates the powerful sexy thing- trust me. So girls this is what you need to know about heels and how to wear them.

1. Every women needs to own a pair of black and brown pointy toed 2- 3inch heels. These work for work, weddings, funerals, brunching and clubbing.

2. The higher and pointier the shoes the more you want to spend. Buy a $12 pair of pointy four inch heeled shoes from Walmart and you're going to be a sorry camper. Classy shoes like this will actually last a life time so if you're spending a couple of hundred dollars it's not a huge deal. When the bottoms wear, take them to the shoe guy (just ask your father or boyfriend where to go), you can get shoes resoled for about $30!

3. If you're buying pointy shoes you almost always have to go 1/2 to a full size up from your regular shoe size. If you haven't bought the brand before get your butt to the shoe store. Online shopping is a fabulous tool  but it's not the greatest thing for shoe shopping.

4. Unless you're twelve and attending someones bar mitzvah leave your shoes on! Oh, poor baby, your feet hurt? Suck! it! up!

5. Along those lines, if the shoes are starting to pinch in the store they're not going to feel so good after three or four hours. Your options- go up a size or buy different shoes!

6. Ok, walking in your shoes- don't walk on your tip toes, this is not a normal way to walk. It goes heel toe, heel toe, heel toe. Walk around your apartment until you've got it down. At don't forget to practice on stairs- the fastest way to ruin your clothes and face is to fall down a flight of concrete stairs.

7. Beyond that you can usually buy whatever heels you like. This is a place to go wild. A snakeskin coat is almost always a no, but snakeskin shoes are sexy- only if they're fake of course!

Dealing with food preferences- aka not being a pain in the butt

Every food out there has at least one person who doesn't like it, who won't eat it or who is allergic to it.  Some food item bear the brunt of this say brussel sprouts, meat or peanuts and others live in the rarely disliked category things like pasta and chocolate.  So you don't like, are allergic to, refuse to eat on moral grounds,  are on a diet, whatever; there is a certain etiquette for attending dinner parties when expressing your food "issue"

1. If you just don't like something.  In this case suck it up.  Taking a couple of bites won't kill you and chances are you'll find something to eat.  Quietly sit their and munch on a roll.  In this case you don't let anyone know about your distaste for the item.  Be an adult and take a few bites or load you plate with things you do like.  Never ever mention your dislike of oranges or broccoli or whatever the food is when it's being served.

2. Moral food choices.  Ok, some of you out their are vegetarians or vegans.  This is a fine decision but don't make everyone else's life difficult.  If you're just a run of the mill vegetarian, that's fine and eggplant parmesan or veggie lasagna can usually accommodate.  Make sure you call the hostess as soon as you get the invite to let her know.  Always offer to bring a dish for everyone to share (have a few in mind and she can choose one that best coordinates with her menu) or offer to share recipes if she would rather do the cooking.  Also, make sure you explain what kind of vegetarian you are.  Many people these days are giving themselves the label of vegetarian when they're either not or are a little more extreme.  Do you eat fish? eggs? cheese? be specific if you're special.  This advice also goes for any religious food choices.

Now if you're a vegan you're going to have to offer to cook.  Apologize for the inconvenience and under no circumstance tell the hostess or guests how great you feel/how they're killing innocent animals/etc. You are entitled to your views but it's inappropriate conversation for someone with a mouth full of hamburger.

3. Allergies.  Definitely let the host/hostess know.  If you're allergic to a number of things or to something the hostess may not know how to work around offer to bring something.  If you're allergic to something that definitely won't be in all the dishes and doesn't give you an allergic reaction just by being nearby, just eat other things.  The hardest allergies are probably nuts since you never know when they're the secret ingredient.

4. You're on a diet.  Oh my God, these people drive me bonkers.  So you're own a specific diet like South Beach and you can only eat specific foods in specific quantities.  Good for you trying to be healthy but no you cannot ask the host to make you something from your diet and you cannot bring your own food.  I have a secret for you, all a diet is is eating less calories then your body consumes.  It doesn't matter if you don't have the specific soup at 3 pm.  Make healthy choices from what your hostess offers.  It's fine to turn down a piece of cake but to bring you're own salad- that's completely rude.

Living with allergies or certain dietary restrictions can be tough, but it's not fair to place too much burden or guilt on the person nice enough to invite you over for a meal.

Take a Be Prepared Attitude Toward your Liquor Cabinet

Every classy lady should have the tools and ingredients to make a few classy cocktails.  You never know when neighbors are friends are going to drop by and you should always be prepared.

1. Wines- Every lady should have a chilled bottle of white, some red and a chilled bottle of champagne or sparkling wine on hand.  This is great if you suddenly have guests or find out that a special someone is in town.  It is also great if you want to enjoy a glass with dinner.  And you never know when a roommate or boyfriend is going to announce something special.  Sparkling wine prices can be really reasonable (try Barefoot Bubbly) and celebrating is more fun with something bubbly.

2.  Beer.  Beer is becoming  trendy and is a great accompaniment to many a food.  I would recommend an artisan beer.  In general stay away from things that come in cans or ask the guy at the liquor store, they usually know what they are talking about.  A tip- if you see a commercial for it every ten seconds during Super Bowl it's probably not what you're looking for.  

3.  Hard liquors.  I would recommend that everyone have a liquor cabinet (unless you don't drink of course).  In that liquor cabinet their should always be vodka and rum at the bare minimum.  To further expand your selection, get a bottle of tequila and some gin.  After this you can add whiskey followed by speciality liquors.

4. Mixers- It's always good to have tonic water, cranberry juice and soda on hand.  Have these three around and you'll be able to please most anyone.  Get extra points for margarita or mojito mix (homemade is always better but I won't tell).

5. Non-alcohol beverages- Nothing is worse then a party without access to something other then booze.  If you're hosting something make sure you have a pitcher of water, a pitcher of lemonade or ice tea and soda to please those who choose not to imbibe.

If you have all of this around you're all set, but don't fret if you're not quite that prepared.  A bottle of wine and some water can please most everyone.

Beach secrets- Packed in every ladies bag

The beach can be a fun day in the sun and the water but this fun can be dampened by a number of problems all a result of being unprepared.  This is a list of beach most haves

1. Sunscreen- Seriously tanning is so over.  Pale skin is classier and the whole less wrinkles, no skin cancer thing is pretty neat.  If you must be tan use a self tanner.  We all know what happens, you'll just get a little sun you say and the next thing you know you're as red  as a stop sign.  Bright red peeling skin is not a flattering look, plus think of the pain.  Sunscreen is a must, SPF 45 or higher ladies.

2.  Sunglasses- The bigger the better.  You can see, look classy and protect your eyes all at the same time!  Ok, not the bigger the better, being inspired by Jackie O is a good thing being inspired by a mosquito is not.

3.  Waterproof mascara- People take pictures at the beach and a mascared eye is casual but adds a little something.

4. Hair supplies- Leave in conditioner, a hair tie, a headband and a brush.  Apply the conditioner before hitting the sand or water.  At the end of the day rinse as soon as possible or throw in a ponytail with a headband and ta dah, you're ready for the next event.

5. A change of clothes-  These are best kept in the car.  Sometimes great things come up and a lady is always prepared to de-sand and hit the town.  Underwear, a cute dress and sandals will help the de-beaching process even if there's no time to shower.

6. A good book- Whatever suits your fancy! Normally we'd encourage something educational or literary but it's the beach.  So if books with bare chested men and women in distress are your thing, go for it.

7. Personal belongings- Some cash, your ID, a credit card and a cell phone.  Always be prepared!

That's it- Don't you know it's best to travel light!

Cursing- Don't make me wash out your mouth with soap missy!

It seems that everyone is cursing up a storm and I'm not talking about words like "damn."  Everywhere I go be it a nice restaurant, a club, the supermarket even the playground I constantly hear people dropping the F-bomb.  Really? You think this makes you look classy or authoritative.  All cursing does is make you seem like you have no self- control and may even have anger issues.  Trust me someone talking to you in that calm but authoritative voice is a million times scarier then someone telling you to F-off.  

To begin your no cursing existence you can start by replacing nasty words with cutesy stuff.  You know, fiddlesticks and the like.  One of two things are going to happen; you'll either adapt to this way of speaking (please no) or you'll find that you want to tell yourself to shut up after saying "poopy head" for the twelfth time.  

If you can't stand that level of baby talk, you might want to use more descriptive phrases.  Instead of telling someone to "f**k off" you'll sound much more rational if you say something along the lines of "this conversation is going no where so I'd rather not continue.  Wow, look at that, you can more accurately get your point across with a full sentence and you don't have to seem like an out of control meathead.

On another note, giving someone the finger is also incredibly unclassy.  Learn how to use your words ladies, cursing is so unbecoming.

Sweat suits- God help us all

Thank God these things are finally going out of fashion.  When did it become ok to walk around in your pajamas.  Sweats are for two things and two things only- sleeping and the gym.  That's it, not airplanes, not the supermarket, not brunch, not anything else!  Sure, they're comfy but so are your blue jeans.  Remember when people used to get dressed up to fly?  No, neither do I but I'm told they did.

There is really nothing flattering about a matching track suit.  Yeah, when I call it a track suit it makes you think twice, right?  That's what it is, a track suits.  Track suits are for well, the track and senior citizens.  Not a senior citizen then sorry, it's for exercise only.

Writing on your butt.  The fact that I have to mention this, especially in relation to the already mostly unacceptable sweat suit is amazing.  I don't care if you are a cutie, a dancer or whatever else you feel the need to proclaim across your bottom, just don't.  Many women don't like people looking at their butts yet they'll put a word back there, um no.  And even if you do have a fabulous butt let it speak for itself in a pair of great jeans or a skirt, don't worry you don't need to label your butt for people to know it's cute.