How to Buy, Wear and Walk in High Heeled Shoes

If I see one more professionally dressed women teetering down the street, or another grown women stumbling over herself coming out of a bar, I'm going to have to stab someone with my own three inch stilettos. Somehow this age of equal rights have lead to a sharp decrease in the ability of women to wear heels. There is absolutely no excuse for this. No, men don't have to wear heels but then again a women doesn't have to tie a noose around her neck to be deemed professional. Every single woman at one point in her life will have to wear heels. About 99.9% of them will have to wear them at least a few dozen times if not thousands. That knowledge alone would make you think women would want to know how to walk in their shoes but this is so not the case. Heels make you taller, more powerful and sexier but tripping over your own two feet makes you look like a 5 year old stomping around the kitchen in your mother's heels. This look totally negates the powerful sexy thing- trust me. So girls this is what you need to know about heels and how to wear them.

1. Every women needs to own a pair of black and brown pointy toed 2- 3inch heels. These work for work, weddings, funerals, brunching and clubbing.

2. The higher and pointier the shoes the more you want to spend. Buy a $12 pair of pointy four inch heeled shoes from Walmart and you're going to be a sorry camper. Classy shoes like this will actually last a life time so if you're spending a couple of hundred dollars it's not a huge deal. When the bottoms wear, take them to the shoe guy (just ask your father or boyfriend where to go), you can get shoes resoled for about $30!

3. If you're buying pointy shoes you almost always have to go 1/2 to a full size up from your regular shoe size. If you haven't bought the brand before get your butt to the shoe store. Online shopping is a fabulous tool  but it's not the greatest thing for shoe shopping.

4. Unless you're twelve and attending someones bar mitzvah leave your shoes on! Oh, poor baby, your feet hurt? Suck! it! up!

5. Along those lines, if the shoes are starting to pinch in the store they're not going to feel so good after three or four hours. Your options- go up a size or buy different shoes!

6. Ok, walking in your shoes- don't walk on your tip toes, this is not a normal way to walk. It goes heel toe, heel toe, heel toe. Walk around your apartment until you've got it down. At don't forget to practice on stairs- the fastest way to ruin your clothes and face is to fall down a flight of concrete stairs.

7. Beyond that you can usually buy whatever heels you like. This is a place to go wild. A snakeskin coat is almost always a no, but snakeskin shoes are sexy- only if they're fake of course!