Cursing- Don't make me wash out your mouth with soap missy!

It seems that everyone is cursing up a storm and I'm not talking about words like "damn."  Everywhere I go be it a nice restaurant, a club, the supermarket even the playground I constantly hear people dropping the F-bomb.  Really? You think this makes you look classy or authoritative.  All cursing does is make you seem like you have no self- control and may even have anger issues.  Trust me someone talking to you in that calm but authoritative voice is a million times scarier then someone telling you to F-off.  

To begin your no cursing existence you can start by replacing nasty words with cutesy stuff.  You know, fiddlesticks and the like.  One of two things are going to happen; you'll either adapt to this way of speaking (please no) or you'll find that you want to tell yourself to shut up after saying "poopy head" for the twelfth time.  

If you can't stand that level of baby talk, you might want to use more descriptive phrases.  Instead of telling someone to "f**k off" you'll sound much more rational if you say something along the lines of "this conversation is going no where so I'd rather not continue.  Wow, look at that, you can more accurately get your point across with a full sentence and you don't have to seem like an out of control meathead.

On another note, giving someone the finger is also incredibly unclassy.  Learn how to use your words ladies, cursing is so unbecoming.

Sweat suits- God help us all

Thank God these things are finally going out of fashion.  When did it become ok to walk around in your pajamas.  Sweats are for two things and two things only- sleeping and the gym.  That's it, not airplanes, not the supermarket, not brunch, not anything else!  Sure, they're comfy but so are your blue jeans.  Remember when people used to get dressed up to fly?  No, neither do I but I'm told they did.

There is really nothing flattering about a matching track suit.  Yeah, when I call it a track suit it makes you think twice, right?  That's what it is, a track suits.  Track suits are for well, the track and senior citizens.  Not a senior citizen then sorry, it's for exercise only.

Writing on your butt.  The fact that I have to mention this, especially in relation to the already mostly unacceptable sweat suit is amazing.  I don't care if you are a cutie, a dancer or whatever else you feel the need to proclaim across your bottom, just don't.  Many women don't like people looking at their butts yet they'll put a word back there, um no.  And even if you do have a fabulous butt let it speak for itself in a pair of great jeans or a skirt, don't worry you don't need to label your butt for people to know it's cute.